On a consistent basis, the divorce rate in Nigeria and many parts of Africa is gradually competing with the statistics in the Western World. This is a troubling trend which must be arrested. However, all the talk about dealing with the challenges in marriages comes down to the decisions individuals who are getting married make upon their desire to enter the realm.
Many marriages crash not because the couples are bad people as individuals; these crashes take place because they do not come to the place of personal conviction that what they are going into is what they truly want and desire for the rest of their lives. You cannot marry someone just on the basis of guess-work! You have to be 100% sure that he or she is the one you like, love and desire in your inner man based on your personal wiring for living.
Marriage, standing alone, is never a solution to loneliness and the many challenges individuals face. Marriage cannot solve your happiness challenge if you are not happy as a person. Marriage cannot solve your sexual incontinence if you are not personally self-controlled. It will interest you to know that marriage actually magnifies everything you are. If you are someone with your tempers on your sleeves and get angry in a flash, getting married will bring out the worst of that challenge in you. If you are naturally a good person with patience as your strongest virtue, when you marry, it will be proven and tested and confirmed that you are indeed patient.
The best way to avoid marrying using guess-work is to be sure of who you are on the inside of you first and then determine the direction of your life as a whole. That understanding will enable you to know who can be part of your life and who cannot be. Once you can determine your purpose and focus in life, you will naturally be drawn to the man or woman who can complement you to accomplish that objective. That is far from guessing.
The vast majority of people do not know who they are, much less understand someone else in a marriage situation. If you have not dealt with your personal issues as relating to your destination for living and purpose, it would be highly advisable not to marry because you will be compounding the problem of the other person. You will end up blaming your partner for all the issues that will start to emanate from getting married.
In my next blog, I will highly in more details the specific steps you need to take to avoid getting married without a clear conviction.
Relationship Frank Talk 
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