For over a week now, this thought has been brooding over my mind, seeking for the right answers. I have not been able to find a fitting answer for myself because the world over, people marry for different reasons. There is no one-size-fits-all reason why people get married; they vary from race to race, culture to culture and from one geographical area to the other.
The reason why people marry in Asia is different from why we marry in Africa. The North Americans and the Europeans may have a common culture we refer to as the “Western” way of life, but again, they do not all marry for the same reasons. Even within the same cultural bloc, people group, ethnic nationalities and individuals, they still marry for different reasons. Does this then defeat the purpose of the caption which heads this piece? Not at all… The question, “Why Do People Marry?” will cause us to seek for deeper answers to the real reasons PEOPLE SHOULD MARRY.
As an individual, I have seen terrible stuff happen in marriages; I have also seen some of the best levels of joy and happiness in marriages. Your experiencing good or evil is all dependent on the WHY you got married.
The Dangers Marriage Brings
Marriage has marred a lot of destinies. I have seen men and women who were heading somewhere so great and the moment they got married, those bright and clear destinies fizzled out into thin air. They lost their drive, passion, motivation and courage to pursue anything. As they got married, they stopped in their tracks and got into another journey totally different and 180 degrees away from where they were headed.
Their bright destinies, which could have been a serious blessing to humanity and glory to God simply disappeared and they became as ordinary as people who had no idea of where they were going in the place or those who weren’t even going anywhere! That is what happens when people marry for the wrong reasons; when they get trapped with the wrong partners.
Many people are dead today because they married. They physically and clinically died! A week ago in the city where I live, a couple died in an inferno which was lit by the woman of the house. The marriage was less than a year old; the lady was angry with the husband for “whatever reason” and she set the apartment ablaze with both of them right inside. They didn’t just die as a couple; she was pregnant with a child! Both of them died because they married each other! Stories had it that the man didn’t voluntarily marry the young woman; his mother forced the lady on him. Well, he was “forced” to death in marriage.
Physical abuse, verbal assault and emotional turmoil have been brought to bear on ladies and guys who are married in the past; some are going through it right now and more will yet experience these in the future – if they continue to go the wrong way marrying for the wrong reasons.
The Joy and Pleasure of Marriage
Directly opposite the thoughts I have shared above, marriage can also be the greatest place or platform for joy ever. It can reshape your destiny for good, cause you to find your right feet, voice and swagger, and elongate your life expectancy beyond what is physically and biologically possible. Many people have been raised from poverty to notoriety because of who they married; others have gone on to become world thought leaders, exceptional human beings and deciders of many other great destinies because of the reasons they choose to marry.
Marrying for the right reasons and to the right person is the sure way of making life most interesting.
MAKING THE RIGHT MOVE IN MARRIAGE
The questions on the minds of a lot of people right now is “how do we do the right thing to avoid the obvious pitfalls?” Great question! You can never do the right thing if you KNOW the wrong things only. The best way to stop going in the wrong direction is to know that the path you are threading is wrong. That is the first point of departure. If someone is wounded and is bleeding, you don’t start administering drugs until you stop the bleeding. If the bleeding continues, he may be drained of blood and die.
This will be a series of blog posts on this subject matter. Keep a date with me in the next couple of days and weeks as we carry on a surgery on the reason why people marry, the reason they should marry and what we must begin to do to reverse the negative trend in our communities, nations and the world. There is a huge need to stop the bleeding occasioned by bad decisions in relationships and marriage. The world will be a better place if we can get our relationship and marriage lives on the right track.